Christmas Light Driving

When I was a junior in high school, Erin and I went to look for Christmas lights. It was in my dad's old Q45 that he gave to me. I'm pretty sure it had a big dent on the side by that point, and things were going to get much worse with it soon. We drove around the neighborhood, and perhaps the neighborhood next to ours, and made our way down Kirk Road. At some point, I think we turned into Devon's neighborhood, and then I think we turned into Wasiq's neighborhood because we knew there was that one house in there that was always INCREDIBLY lighted.

We didn't know how to get out of his neighborhood, though (we didn't know he lived there at the time...), and I guess we came out on Naamans Creek Road, and I guess I made a right turn. It turned out this was the opposite direction of home, and ended up taking us toward Kacey and Steph's neighborhood, which I think I was familiar with by that time.

It's a left turn into the neighborhood, and it comes up a hill. Erin was in the passenger seat. I put on my signal and slowed down to make the turn, everything looked fine, so I went. Out of nowhere, I saw headlights.

Crap.

They're coming fast. I remember seeing them and immediately fearing that I was about to get Erin killed. I don't remember thinking anything at all except for some appropriate obscenities, but I suppose I was aware enough somehow to floor it, and we made it into the neighborhood safely.

Once we got in, I just about died. I remember I freaked out. Things feel sort of light when this sort of freak out happens, and I don't feel nauseaus, but more like I'm about to pass out. Sometimes I get dots in my vision, coming in from the side. My legs feel almost out of control, although they don't shake. I'm just afraid that I can't control them. I had pulled over, I think, because I didn't want to drive around like that.

I forget if Erin realized how scared I was of what just happened or not. I think she did. I wanted to go home after that, and I think we basically went right back. I never would have forgiven myself if I had gotten her hurt that night. I'm ten times more cautious about that hill now.

Peace out.

How Tests Should be Taken

I took my Econ 002 final exam today in the Eisenhower Auditorium, which fits over 1,100 kids, since my instructor for that class actually teaches about 1,100 kids. We waited outside for a while, and then went in a line into the auditorium. A guy used a clicker to count how many of us went in, and we were given a scantron by another girl at the door. We waited to go into the rows of the auditorium, and since the chairs didn't have writing boards, we were given hard tablets to write on. The shadows from the lights made it really distracting to fill in the circles on your sheet.

When we were done, we had to go up to the auditorium stage on the right, get our ID checked against the ID we put on the paper, then hand our scantron and test book to another person. I finished my test and got in line to hand my test in. It took me about five minutes just to get to the back of the line, because it went to the very back of the auditorium and people couldn't "curl around" anymore. It took me another ten minutes to get to the front of the line and hand in my test. By the time I got up, the line was wrapping around the entire many-thousand people auditorium. It's possible the line went out the door of the auditorium shortly after.

The whole time I just kept thinking to myself, ironically, "Yeah, this is how tests should be taken."

Peace out.

Sharon

One Saturday night last year after a drumline practice, everyone went to Sean's apartment southeast of campus to hang out for a little bit. We watched Family Guy movie and maybe something else, but I forget what. I think Sean's roommates came in and out, and I think at least one was a girl, but I could be wrong.

I guess it was nearing the end of the season, and people were wondering who was going to do it again next year and who wouldn't join. I think I was asking Brooke, the pianist, one of my better friends that year, if she was going to be there next year. She said probably not. One of the reasons was she was afraid Tollie wouldn't be there, and the other was she feared she couldn't afford it.

Sharon was one of our older members, I think she aged out. She'd done a lot of corps and lines before. She overheard, or was in our conversation. She was standing at the end of the kitchen, holding a drink in her hand, in the low light. When she heard what Brooke said, she very forcefully said, "Do NOT let money stop you from doing anything. I swear to god. The ONLY thing that matters is the memories you have with people."

Peace out.

Pictures that make you wanna say FUCK YEAH

Some animal pictures that make you wanna whip our your switchblade comb, take a Lucky Strike from your pocket and nod to yourself, FUCK YEAH. Thanks to the guys at SomethingAwful.

Peace out!

Drumline Weekend

My last final is on Friday. I've gotten over the frustration of having to stay here all week as my friends leave. But I still have drumline on Saturday and Sunday, so I have no chance at all to go home until December 21st, when some of my friends have now been home for 5 days. I'm getting really upset, because I miss my friends a lot, and Christmas is going to feel extremely rushed because I'll only have three days to do shopping and to enjoy the season. I really want to be home, so I can have a fireplace, and my own piano.

Peace out.

Springfield Party

There was a party for Springfield Thon this weekend, Saturday night around 8. I knew my friends were going to a comedy improv show for Full Ammo before then, so I hung around working on a new website for my music until about 10. I think that it was about then I set out for the party. I wasn't sure exactly where I was going, but I found the building. I walked in at the same time as Jackie and a male friend of hers - she's a family chair for us. I looked for the stairs, but couldn't find them, so I took the elevator with the two of them. I actually wasn't sure who she was or where she was going exactly until when we got out of the elevator and headed for the same room numbers.

The first room I went into was 310. Some kids were playing a drinking game when I went in, I think, and it was very very very crowded and very small. I didn't know many people and I sort of felt uncomfortable. I made my way further into the apartment and Liz Fin came inside and noticed me, so we talked. She asked me what was going on, but my life has been lame recently, and she talked to me about her life for a little bit. She said she was leaving soon, and I said I probably was too, but I was going to check out the other room first.

So I went to 309. I think the first person I noticed was Mike, so I walked behind the kitchen and asked him how it was going, and he said good. I remember noticing a girl somewhere near him, but I forget who and why. I saw Dana dancing - one of the many people dancing, most of the girls wearing antlers for the holiday theme - and she excitedly said hello, so I did as well. I felt pretty uncomfortable because this room was essentially nothing but dancing; the music was much louder than the other room, and it was probably even more crowded. I saw a lot of kids I knew, mostly freshmen. I told Dana I wasn't sure I was going to stay very long, but that maybe I'd go to the other room before I left, and she said she'd go with me. So we went, but it was as strange as before, so she grabbed my hand and took me back out of the room and said that everyone would want me to say hi.

So I went with her to 309 again for a little bit and said hello to some people. Satbyol hugged me, and I said hey, how are you to whoever I knew that I saw. Matt was dancing with his shirt off. I said that I was probably going to go, and Dana looked disappointed. I think she was trying to make sure that I had a good time, and felt like she didn't do a good enough job. It's really not her fault, I'm just not the kind of guy that can have a good time at parties like those.

I took the elevator down again, and Jackie and her friend got in with me. We talked about Springfield, and parted ways at the road.

Peace out.

A Terrible Week with My Bike

My bike wheels had been getting really flat, so I brought it inside on Tuesday to inflate the tires. Using a tiny pump that my dad got me before I went to Brown, I tried to inflate the wheels in the stairwell of Simmons because it was too cold to do it outside. People passed by and wondered a bit what I was doing, but I guess they figured it out. At some point, putting the pump onto the air spout thing completely deflated my rear wheel, so the bike was totally useless 'till I got it fixed. Then the air spout thing receded into the bike. FML, as I like to say.

So I brought it to my room and got the spout out using some tweezers, but still had no luck with the reinflation. Dana helped me look up what to do on the internet and it was still no help. I called my dad to ask him, and he said to try for another pump, 'cuz mine might be broken. So I did; Dan had one that didn't fit my outlet, but Matt had one that did, and it actually worked, so I got my bike back on Thursday, I believe.

On Friday morning, my lock was frozen shut. I've written about this before. I slammed some ice out of the lock, but still no luck. Somewhat self-consciously, I spit on it figuring that spit is warm, and it'd melt whatever was jamming it. I waited a few seconds and - surprisingly, embarassingly almost - it worked.

As you might know, my flash drives are on my keychain, and when I was handling the lock, my keys fell out of the hole and my flash drives slammed on the ground, and the harddrive of one fell out onto the wet ground. FML. I put it back together and decided to pay more attention to it once I got to class. So I put the lock on properly, and got ready to go.

I have to put my pedals in place before I get on the bike, and as I kicked them into place, the chain popped off.

So I locked up my bike and walked to class. I haven't put the chain back on yet.

Peace out.

16 Things

A Facebook thing was going around recently where you were supposed to tell 16 things about yourself. I didn't really feel like doing it, but I figured it was a good excuse to spend time thinking about memories I'd sort of been meaning to write down but couldn't force myself to. Anyhow, here you go, all completely true to the best of my knowledge:

1. I went to pre-school at Elam Love & Learn, which is on Smithbridge Road, basically across the street from Bruster’s, just next door to Megan’s. In the mornings sometimes we would fold a piece of paper into nine squares and write the same letter in each square. Sometimes we’d have time to play, and there was a girl named Alex that I “liked” and usually played with. One time we were playing with wooden blocks and we made a ‘stretcher’ out of them and laid me on it, as if I were hurt, and a kid named Dave asked if he could play too. We thought he was weird because he pretended to be a vampire, and we stuck our tongues out at him, and he cried and got us in trouble. This is my first clear memory.

2. I almost drowned sometime before I was in about third grade. There was an old beach house (condominium) that we had in Avalon on the bay, and there was a bulkhead in the front, and a dock below it that would rise and fall with the tides. You could jump from the bulkhead to the dock line if you wanted to, but sometimes the jump could be eight feet or more. Once, on a cold day, I was wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants outside in the evening and I jumped from the bulk to the dock, but I couldn’t stop my momentum, and I feel in the water. I started screaming because I was scared and my clothes were heavy. My dad happened to be on the dock at that moment, and ran over and pulled me out. I went inside and took a warm bath for a while. My sister and her friend Becky checked to make sure I was okay (must have had a swimsuit on). I might have died if my dad hadn’t been outside.

3. The first song that I ever legitimately learned on piano was Do You Hear What I Hear. After my first piano lesson with Mrs. Pino, I went home with my mom and played through the first bit of it over and over and over and over again, and she sat there patiently as I messed up over and over and over and over again. I think I was in fourth grade. If I had kept up that kind of determination, I’d have been the best piano student of all time. Unfortunately, I started being told to play songs I didn’t want to play. I quit on and off until 9th grade. The reason that I started playing piano seriously again was because of the version of “Best Imitation of Myself” on Ben Folds Live, which my sister made me listen to in the car one day for basically no reason at all. Thank god for it.

4. I used to post on the forums at GameFAQs.com a LOT. There was a discussion board called The Forum, mostly for political and “philosophical” discussion, that I frequented. There were a bunch of other regulars – Ryoko, an Asian woman, Chemocles, a nice married dude, ghost sgt, an old cynic with three daughters, propheticfiction, who I think cut up birds, yars, who was hilariously sarcastic at all times, Polemos and Epistemizer, who wrote 2,000 word long posts when everyone else wrote five sentences. I never told my age but everyone knew I was The Young One. It was nice to sort of have a second ‘group of friends’ like that, and that you could always debate with but still like, ‘cuz it’s just the internet. Over time the board got taken over by people we didn’t like, and I tried to make another board for us to post at, but it fell apart too. It was actually a good time in my life, and I would enjoy if I could find something like it again.

5. One time when I was in second grade, I got on the school bus and didn’t realize that I hadn’t brought my backpack. My teacher was Mrs. Hopkins, who was very very nice. Back then, I was really really uptight, and sort of mean. When I got closer to school, I somehow realized I didn’t have my backpack, and I got *incredibly* nervous. I walked into class and tried to contain myself, but before the first bell even rang I felt sick. By the time all the kids were out of the hallway, I had asked Mrs. Hopkins if I could go to the nurse, and she let me – I think I was very pale. I threw up in the hallway before I made it there, I think right in front of the library at Concord Elementary School. Yes, I was so nervous about forgetting my backpack that I threw up. Mrs. Hopkins didn’t even care I forgot it.

6. We used to play football every day during recess in middle school. I can’t remember everyone there, but Greg Davis, Sean Haggerty, John Kernicky, Paul Skulski, and a whole bunch of other kids would play. I was okay, I usually got picked in the front half of the daily draft of teams. I could run forever. I was always the one that brought the football. The last days of 6th grade were kind of confusing and I didn’t know when we’d have recess and when we wouldn’t, but I thought that it ended a certain day, so I didn’t bring my ball the next day. Turns out it was a perfect day, and we had recess. Sean Haggerty got really angry at me, I remember he pushed me while saying, “We’re not gonna play football on the last recess of our young lives.” I sort of knew I screwed up, but it really wasn’t that big a deal. I forget what we did instead.

7. I had a couple online journals before chemicalroad. The first one was actually on livejournal, but I’m not giving the link to that because it’s terrible. I started that one because a girl who liked me asked me to and I did it because I can’t say no sometimes. I only wrote once or twice, then I realized I didn’t like her and she went psycho, tried to make me jealous, and then disappeared. Her name was Brenda. The next one was xanga.com/poulemarchus, which was my screen name before Singing Farewell. That one went for a while, but stopped when I found out my parents were reading it. I hate it when my parents screw up things like that; an entire year of my life in writing disappeared because of it. I eventually started xanga.com/stateownedmedia, but only wrote in it a few times. I still like to go back and read them every now and then. I’m not sure anyone can read the poulemarchus one right now though.

8. My mom found out that one of my legs was longer than the other when I was young and she realized my underwear and pants didn’t fit right on my hips. I had to have a lift put into my left shoe for a long time, like an inch thick in seventh grade. Kids used to call me “spice girl” in school, and kids at soccer camp called me “boots.” It was really annoying and I wanted to punch people and make fun of their acne, or ugly eyes, or terrible haircuts, or crooked teeth, but I didn’t. I got the growth plates in my right knee broken in 8th grade to fix the problem. I told people I had the cast because of a surfing accident, or because my brother beat me up, because I felt like telling a cool story. People believe me but I think most people found out eventually. If I didn’t have this problem I’d be six-foot-one. No one asks me about my shoes anymore, unless they’ve caught on fire recently.

9. When I was young, I really liked the song “Masterpiece.” I forget who it was by. Anyway, I actually liked it because I thought he was saying “I found a *monster* piece in you,” rather than masterpiece in you. I had a weird visual understanding of it in my head, and I just thought it was an incredible concept. I mean, this was like kindergarten.

10. My family had a computer when I was really young, a while before 2nd grade, and we had the internet through a provider called Prodigy. It was really terrible and slow, but I was too young to tell the difference. I found a game somewhere once involving a girl and an adventure through pre-historic times with dinosaurs, and always wanted to play it a second time, but I don’t think I ever found it again. This is my only memory of Prodigy.

11. I got a blanket before I had a memory. It was white and had some sort of design on it, although I’m not sure what. It’s ragged and brown/yellow/white now. I still sleep with it every night. Deal with it.

12. I used to be really obsessed with tractors and trucks, and I was convinced I would drive one for my job when I grew up. I thought people would pay for rides in 18-wheelers. Turns out I was wrong. I used to always make “towns” for tractors that I would take to the beach when I was young. In my old house, we had a living room with pink carpet and a lot of open space, and I would spend hours and hours with little metal tractors “mowing” the carpet, making straight lines with their metal wheels from one wall to another, back and forth. I idolized Scott, our lawn guy.

13. I used to be completely phobic of being alone. It started one day when my brother and neighbor convinced my mom left for good and was never coming back. After that, I would be one room away from my mom and afraid she was gone, and we had this conversation a thousand times: “MOOOM!?!?” “What?!” “…just checking.” Sometimes I got scared and did it at night when I was sleeping, or when we were both sleeping. Sometimes when I woke up in the middle of the night I’d check on them to make sure both of my parents were still there.

14. I have a lot of things wrong with me. When I was born, my tear ducts were messed up and I had to have surgery on them. I was diagnosed with Tourette’s when I was around 12, but I’m pretty sure that was inaccurate, or it went away. One leg was longer than the other. I’m losing my vision. I have an irregular heartbeat, but apparently it’s nothing dangerous. I have pecsis, meaning one set of ribs sticks out unequally against the other.

15. I never really know what my songs are about when I’m writing them. They sort of take on meaning retroactively, and sometimes they just take on extra meanings, and it happens to be a cooler meaning. For instance, when I wrote Singing Farewell, I imagined it as a song to a living friend from a deceased friend. Turns out it’s a way cooler song if you think about it more in the context of a graduation. Those sorts of things happen in almost all my songs. Some might say that’s cheap, but I think it’s cool, almost like I subconsciously have a meaning that I just need a month and a dozen listens to figure out.

16. Last one, about the future this time. I’d love to make a difference in the world, but I have no idea how. It’s so intimidating. Should I spend it working with poor people, maybe in undeveloped nations? Be a teacher? Just be a really good friend to everyone? Be a politician? I don’t know. I sort of realize that even though I’ve surrounded myself with beautiful things and people that I love endlessly, there are a lot of terrible things in the world that would crush your soul if only you could consider them simultaneously. I’d love to be the world’s hero and have everyone be, at the very least, safe and content. Not for the recognition, just because I want people to be safe and happy. But there’s so, so much inertia otherwise.

I might go into more detail on some of these at some point if I feel like it, or if someone asks me to.

Peace out!

Quick Break

This entry is really just a note to myself in case I ever want to remember what I did each day on this break. It won't be particularly fun for anyone else to read. Anyhow.

The Friday I came back I drove home with Dana and Gina and it took 6 hours and we all got pretty frustrated. I dropped Dana with her sister near McDonald's and went to the GV football game after dinner. They lost, and that was the night I found out about Chloe too. We all went to Abby's afterward and had a fire inside, talked, and went to Cossart Road. I went home around 2.

I can't remember what I did the next day in the morning, although I think it may have been math homework. Kelly Davis came over that day sometime while Penn State was playing football. Later I went with Michelle to see Rachel's play, but we couldn't actually talk to Rachel. I drove Michelle to Corey's house and then went to see Chloe in Exileland. Sarah and Gina couldn't come so it was just me/Chloe/Jack/her mom/Faith, which was fine. He played violent video games.

On Sunday I played hockey in the morning until about 2PM all told, including lunch and driving with Chas. It was good. I think I sat around the rest of that day because I was so dead from hockey, but I'm not positive.

On Monday I visited school and saw Mrs. Rock and Mr. Trabocco. She talked about the economy, Swiss Francs, Hi-Q, and the rapture, and he talked about cell phones and going into business first. I believe I did some work for my INS 301 class that day, and went to drumline practice later. To correct, this was the day I did my Linear Algebra homework as well. Drumline was okay, I went at the same time as Gina, and hung out with Hannah and Kate afterward till they got rides. I think I chilled after that.

Tuesday I drove for a long time to get a business card for INS 301 from Elise Manzi, and was very mad. I visited everyone at Hi-Q after visiting Kelly Davis at her house and buying Peppermint Patties for the team. Her mom apparently has Parkinson's, which made me very sad. I drew a devil behind Mrs. Rock on a SmartBoard and took a picture. I watched House that night with Chloe, Gina, and Matt at his house and talked to his family some and brought cookies. After, I went to Jason Fish's house to see Beth, and met her friend Krista.

I didn't shave. Wednesday I remember working a lot on my CD and trying to write songs, including the new one called Meaning to Write. I know I finished it that night. I don't remember doing much else that day. I believe I went to Tina's house that night to see Beth, Tina, and Krista. I think I did something in the morning with someone that kept me busy for a while, but I can't remember who. I think this may have also been the day I played Paperboy at Dominic's house with Joey and Gina.

I remember now that I actually hung out with Kristin a lot on Saturday, the first Saturday, because we hadn't gotten to talk in forever. It was nice.

I played hockey in Delaware with the guys until about 1PM on Thanksgiving Day for the Turkey Cup and then went to dinner with my family minus Jessica. That night I went to see Beth and Krista at their house and watched some House and came back around midnight. I think that was the last time I saw Krista.

The next day I burned a bunch of my CDs, finally, and brought them to a couple parties. There was a bonfire at Abby's with Sam and Sarah and Shana and Steph and others whose names I forget, and then I went to Kaycee W's apartment in Chichester to see all the old senior friends. I think just about everyone in the world was there, save Jen, Erin, and a select few others. I had gone shopping with Jenny earlier that day for a long time, 9:30 at Office Depot to mall to Genuardi's, and early in that morning Nupur had texted me that her parents found out and wouldn't talk to her.

I don't think I did much on Saturday and I started to feel sick toward the night. I had gone to the bookstore with Matt/Dan G/Chloe/Brianna earlier and we looked at The Areas of My Expertise and The Onion's Atlas, which was offensive and hilarious. I considered watching Helvetica later, and possibly watching with others if I could, but no one seemed to be around and I felt sick and couldn't find any copies nearby. So I worked on a website instead and worried about the weather.

Then I drove back with Margo and Gina after getting some sand from Gina's dad, and not knowing what Margo's dad's last name was. It only took four hours this time, and we weren't so frustrated.

There was that tree in Gina's yard that I wanted to check out to see if the leaves were as yellow this year as they were last year, or if they would even turn the same color year after year, but I forgot to look every day.

This turned out to be a lot less "quick" than I had intended.

Peace out.

Deer in the Headlights

I narrowly escaped two car crashes while I was here already. Even more if you count the journey here.

On Sunday morning I played hockey with Chas and the older guys at the Delcastle park in Delaware. Chas drove from his house and back to save some gas for us. On the way back we were coming up on 202 and not sure which direction to go, and we went straight, and saw some signs from 202 in front of us. There was a hill you went down before you got on to 202 and it crossed another road, and there was a red light in front of us at the time. I figured Chas saw it so I just kept going, but as he got closer, he wasn't slowing down. "Red light... red light!!" I didn't quite scream but I was pretty freaked out, because if anyone HAD been coming through, probably one of us would have been done. Fortunately there were no cars.

The night before I was going to visit Rachel at her play at Delaware County Christian School. We got there in the middle of the 4 hour play and there wasn't any way we could see her till the last scene, so Michelle and I decided to go and tell her dad to tell her we stopped by. We promised ourselves we'd visit her before break was over. I took her to Corey's house on the way back because he was babysitting his little brother, and we took Smithbridge past the light on Kirk because we forgot where we were. As I was going somewhere a little past the entrance to Bobby's neighborhood, I was talking to Michelle about something, and I saw something in my headlights. After a moment of thinking, I realized it was a deer poking its head out of the woods. "I should probably stop," I thought. Doot doo doo...... yeah, I should really probably stop. So once my brain got down to my foot, I put on the brake. There was no way I'd be able to stop before that deer. And to make it worse, there was a car coming in the opposite direction that would almost definitely hit me if I swerved, or if I hit the deer. Thank god, it retreated back into the woods before I got to it.

The deer-in-the-headlights expression is totally real, if you've never seen it before.

Peace out.

Black Bronco

The night I came home and went to the GV game against Neshimany [we lost], we went to Abby's afterward, and I think seven girls were sleeping over. I was also there because I didn't have to be home until I felt like it. We decided to go to Cossart Road instead of a diner, after the fire would die out. It never quite died out, but we got impatient and went anyway. I went with Chloe, Trisha, and Molly. Abby, Sarah, Hannah, and Kacey were in the other car.

We drove there and pointed out the mansion, the true guard tower, and the other strange tower. When we got on the road, I was in the front, Sarah was driving the car behind me. I think sometime shortly after we passed over the little bridge, I saw a car coming in the opposite direction. One other car had passed us before, I believe. I think that one was a sedan of some sort. Whenever you're on the road, though, you try to see what kind of car it is to see if it's a black Bronco or red pick-up or whatever else the stories had said. As it turned out, the second car was actually a black Bronco. Creepy!

So we drove down the road at like 25mph, pointing out the leaning trees and the skull tree and the driveway that leads up to the "guard house." I checked out the driveways on my way to make sure there were no cars waiting. It was after midnight and I was a little more on-edge than I usually was. When we got to the end of the road, Sarah was still behind me. We decided to turn around and go back down the road. When we did, I looked to see Sarah, and saw that there was a black Bronco right behind her. Super creepy! However, part of the myth is that you can't see the face of the driver. I could clearly see his face - he was white, about my age, maybe in high school, and wearing an orange winter hat, pulled down over his ears.

They actually turned around and followed myself and Sarah on the way back. I kept my speed at about 25mph. Apparently the Bronco waited at the turn around, turned off its lights, sped back up to Sarah, and turned on its brights right on her tail a bit later, freaking them out. Hannah said she didn't even see them before they put their brights on, and she was looking right behind them.

Chloe called Abby at some point, and Sarah was crying. The car was still right behind them, apparently right on their tail. I could see two pairs of headlights in my rear-view mirror. We kept going at about 25mph all the way back - the road is too dangerous for anything else - and got to the stop sign at Rt 100. We didn't want to stop because we didn't know about the safety of the car behind us for sure (I was actually a tiny bit concerned), so I rolled through it, and Sarah followed.

The Dresden Dolls were playing quietly, and right as we were turning, we heard some sort of screeching sound, or maybe a faint scream, that sounded like it came from outside. We wondered what it was - I thought about turning the music off in the middle of it, but decided it was probably just the car or something like that. But the others asked what that was, and said it sounded like someone, maybe a baby, screaming right outside the window.

We called the other car and asked them if they heard anything, and to our surprise, they confirmed. So it wasn't something just in the car, and it wasn't something just in the music that was playing. That freaked us out a little bit.

Thankfully the Bronco turned left as we turned right, probably to go back and freak out more teenagers. We still don't know what that sound was.

We were glad that the newbies actually had a good first Cossart Rd experience. I mean, it was almost definitely kids from local schools just messing around, but we DID get "chased" by a black Bronco on Cossart Road.

Peace out.

---

I saw her earlier and that her eyes were red, and I thought maybe there was something wrong, but I didn't say anything because I thought it was more likely that it was from being out in the cold for so long. A few moments later when I saw her, she was, I think, crying openly and being hugged very closely by one of her friends. I didn't know what happened, but I pretty much knew, and I was sad for her.

I walked away and minutes later was somewhere near her again, organizing things for later, and I saw her with red eyes again, and being hugged by friends. I don't think I actually had even been told what was wrong at that point. I was wearing my big, fuzzy, itchy jacket from some name brand store (I forget which one. AE?) that people seem to hate to hug me in. So I took it off and put it on the chair next to me, and took off my pink mittens, and said her name and hugged her for a while. I told her that I took off my stupid fuzzy jacket just to hug her to try to make her laugh, but I think that actually made her cry harder, and I was worried I screwed something up. I asked her where she would be that night, because I wanted to be there for her and for her to be with friends. Partially that was because I thought it was what she'd want, and partially it was because I had no idea what else might help.

And though it was nothing in comparison, my heart broke a little bit for her under the light of what happened, the beauty and the tragedy, the gravity of the hour.

[and if this kills you, tell me to get rid of it, and i'm sorry]

Peace out.

Spin Out

There's a big hill somewhere down 322 coming East out of State College where you have to make a left as you're going up the incline. We left around 1:15 on Friday to get home, and by this point it was probably already 3:30 or so. We were all very frustrated, and knew that there was a good likelihood that things wouldn't get any better from here.

We were going up the hill - myself, Gina, and Dana - on the right side of the road, I believe. Then, a few cars in front of us, a dark-colored [green?] jeep spun out. All the cars in the right lane stopped, and I suppose it was in the middle of the road, because all the cars in the left lane stopped, too. Or maybe just no one wanted to take a chance. But so there we were, sitting on an incline in a half-inch of slush and ice on 322, with a spun out jeep in front of us.

There was a big flatbed truck in front of the jeep. It was going up the hill just fine, but then it slowed down. Then we saw that it was going backward and it's tail lights were on. I didn't know what was happening - for a few seconds, I was convinced that this truck was about to slide down 322 and make a multiple-car accident heap, leaving us stranded there for a number of hours, not moving forward at all. It was a frustrating thought. Thankfully, it turned out the truck stopped to help the jeep. I don't know how he saw it, but I guess somehow he caught an idea of what was going on.

Some people were getting frustrated in the line of cars up the hill. I remember looking back, and in my head, cars went on in both lanes as far as I could see. That's not saying much because it was gray, cloudy, and snowy, so you couldn't see very far, but I would say it was about three-quarters of a mile. I forget what we were listening to at the time. Some cars honked their horns, and we didn't understand what they thought it would accomplish. Then some cars pulled around us from behind, went back up to the right side of the road, and drove past the jeep and onward. I thought about doing it, and started for the left lane to get around the car in front of me, but then the jeep moved. I didn't think it would be safe.

I remember I slid out a little bit at some point when I was making that initial move. I was really really frustrated, and almost convinced myself that the minute I took my foot off the brake and put it back onto the accelerator, I would fall off the road into the ditch on the left. There was a large rock/mountain separating the east and west directions of the road.

The trucker slipped as he was helping the guy in the jeep. He was pushing the jeep from behind, but the jeep wasn't doing very well. Somehow they happened to make something magic happen, and the jeep made it up the tiny incline from the dipped left side of the road to the elevated right side. It got its wheels on the rumble strip and then went on its way, on the rumble strip. So I knew it was my turn to go.

I had told Gina I thought we would spin out. The trucker headed back for his cabin, and people started to move. I aimed immediately for the right. Even though my steering wheel was all the way to the right, we hardly went to the right. In fact, at first we did lose our traction a bit, and I remember Gina saying something to me, "God-- Jeff...!!" in a frustrated and somewhat angry voice to me, and I told her to shut up/not to talk, which was mean, because I was in a really foul mood, and very afraid we were about to land ourselves in a snow drift. I kept the wheel all the way to the right and went slowly, and eventually we caught a grip and made some progress to the right, and made it to the rumble strip. We drove on that for a while, but I was afraid driving on it for too long would destroy the car. Plus it was very annoying. So we drove on at about 25MPH for basically the rest of 322, and got home at 7:00PM or so.

Peace out.

The Ice Burns of Prof. Haran

My Stat 200H [elementary statistics] teacher is a young Indian guy - maybe 30 or a little bit older - with a modern sense of style and vocabulary. He often refers to incorrect methods of statistics as "silly," but you can tell he knows it's sort of ironically funny.

Anyhow. One day in class, during the end of the voter registration drive up here, I was sitting in the back so I could pass notes with Dana, which we do to pass time. I had some "clings" in my backpack (kind of like stickers, but they used static cling instead of an adhesive material) that said "Vote for Change" on them. They were pretty big - probably about a foot diameter. So I took one out when he was looking away and put it on the back wall, over my head. When he turned around he did a quick double-take and asked me if I did that. "Did what?" "That." "Hm? Oh... uh, sure..."

He didn't seem upset by it. Furthermore, he's a professor and does research on global warming, so I felt pretty safe saying he was liberal. I think I asked him after class and he said he was supposed to be "shy" with his views, so he didn't tell me.

Another time, he asked me if I went to the Sarah Palin rally. He had. I was going to go, but I didn't have the effort to go because I heard you needed tickets, and I had driven 3 hours back home from an Obama rally that day. I prodded him again to ask if he were liberal - "Come on, you watch The Daily Show and you do research on global warming, you can't not be liberal." And he said, "I don't know, I might be..." and winked. But he still somehow didn't quite give it away.

But I'm going to go ahead and say he's liberal. Don't quote me on that.

Anyhow. Recently I got a lot of assignments back, and the first one was a lab on which I got 30/30. Generally I don't do super-hot in that class. I feel like I always answer things correctly, but the grader goes for details and you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, so I always end up with something like a 90% I feel like. Anyway, when I got the lab back, I said, "Oh my god! This is the first good grade I've gotten in this course!" He overheard me and said, cuttingly but playfully, "That's because you never come to class...?!"

I rarely go to class, it's true. But it was still funny the way he said it. It was just funny that he actually called me out on it.

Anyway, Colbert is on.

Peace out.

If I Had A Million Dollars

Sometime last year when I was at Brown, Chaz and Sarah and Nupur and Ben and other friends (Allegra? Margeaux? and one other whose name I forget, I think it started with a J, she played water polo) were hanging in Chaz's room. It was sort of small - actually, unusually small for a dorm room at Brown - but it never really felt cramped. It had a sunroof/moonroof/starroof above Chaz's bed in the corner, a futon/chair beside the bed, and his roommate's bed against the other wall. There was a little Ikea coffeetable in the middle that I "helped" Chaz put together during the first week we were there, and their desks were just about opposite their beds. I think this was the night of SexPowerGod, but I'm not sure.

In either case, Chaz had his computer - a white MacBook, I think - playing some music, and somehow when we were talking about music, we got to If I Had a Million Dollars, by The Barenaked Ladies. He said that he thought it was one of the prettiest songs he knew, and told us that sometime we should really listen to it - so we put it on right then.

If you're not familiar with the song If I Had a Million Dollars, you should be. The whole song is basically the two lead singers listing all the things they would buy for their girlfriend or wife if they had a million dollars, and each verse ends with "If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love," before going into a chorus that lists more things they would buy for her so she would love him. And so we sat and really listened, and at the very end, Chaz said, "Oh, oh, this is the best part."

So I listened to the prolonged last line: "If I had a million dollars.... I'd be rich."

I'd listened to the song hundreds of times before, and I had always thought that it was just a pun. But for some reason when Chaz told me to listen to it, it completely changed the meaning. He wasn't talking about money at all; that's not the kind of rich he means.

I had actually momentarily forgotten the line as I was writing this post, and it didn't actually hit me until I wrote the line out just a moment ago, and when I did, it was strangely just as strong as the first time I realized what it really meant. And I remember the first time, Chaz and I just looked at each other, both feeling a little mushy and sentimental, and half-cried out, "It's so beautiful!" and hugged each other, non-ironically.

You should really listen to it sometime, maybe.

Peace out.

Songs

I'm working on two songs currently. One is basically finished, except I don't know what range I want the chorus to be in. The other I've just started, but I have some really pretty ideas for it, and it would go with basically any lyrics ever.

I'm trying to finish my CD by the end of Thanksgiving break. So for all you people out there that like to pretend you enjoy my music, get pumped!! I have like... 68 minutes or something so far. So I might go for one more song. I think 72 is about sufficient...

Peace out.

Stephens

There's a guy's bathroom on the first floor of Stephens Hall which I sometimes use. It's very peculiar. You have to walk in, go around a wall, and then go around the wall again to get to the only toilet in the entire bathroom. Strangely enough, it has two sinks. And even though there is only one useable toilet in there and it's hidden by the bend of a wall, it has a door on it. As if the first door wouldn't have been enough. Whoever designed it was an idiot. I can't even describe.

//

I might play vibraphone for PSU Indoor this year, but if so, I have to learn Burton grip instead of the Stephens method (which I have basically always used and loved). I'm pretty upset, but I guess it's nice to have to actually learn something for once. I always carry my two Pilot G-2 .05mm mechanical pencils with me, and I can put them in my hands and pretend they're mallets to help me learn Burton grip.

It's a tough grip. And to make it even worse, it's almost impossible to find a good tutorial on it. Jim Ancona's book has a sample from this section on the internet, but it only contains the even pages, and the bulk of the explanation is on an odd page.

I tried Wikipedia, Google, YouTube, and VicFirth. I'm not really sure where else to go, so I think I might just e-mail Tollie and Jim and see how it goes from there.

Peace out.

In General,

I have been pretty disappointed by college life as a whole.

Peace out.

The Great Restoration Part 2

Peace out.

The Great Restoration

Earlier in the night, Gabby, Gabby, Gina and I had taken a look into the lounge to check out an election watch party. It just so happened that everyone in their except for us was black (literally, every person), and we felt a little bit out of place, so we headed back up to Gabby B's room to watch the rest of it. We had gotten snacks from Louie's - Gabby R got chocolate Tastykake mini-donuts, and I got some Junior Mints, and Gabby B got some organic sun chips, or things along that line.

Gabby lives in a lounge that was made into a dorm room, so it's pretty spacious. They have a huge bed in the middle just to watch TV from, but it's bent up where your head is to make it easier to see. The sheets were blue, and there was a blue blanket on it. The TV was good, and we moved a tall green cup to make our view a little better. At first it was Gina, Gabby R and I sitting on it and watching, but eventually Gabby B took other Gabby's spot, and she then ended up sitting on a pillowchair right next to the bed.

I was giddy the entire time. I texted my friends about how excited I was. I couldn't believe it was happening. McCain had a tiny lead in the beginning - something like 8EV to 3EV - but after the northeast onslaught, we all felt a lot better. And then, early in the night, we heard that PA had been called for Obama, and then we saw it on the channel we were watching. We switched between CNN and ABC and NBC, and sometimes FOX to see if they were freaking out yet.

Once PA was called, I knew deep down that the election was over, but I didn't celebrate quite yet. We kept watching. For a long time it hovered around O:200 - M:130, and we got sort of impatient. Colbert and Stewart's live broadcast came on then, and we watched it, and switched to the news inbetween. I think I had eaten all of my Junior Mints by then - but that's okay, I think we actually started watching sometime around 8:15PM and it was 10PM by then. Colbert had a cockatiel and it was very cute and white.

We kept switching back and forth and back and forth, and nothing changed, and Colbert and Stewart weren't being too terribly funny. I had talked earlier of partying with all the black people in the lounge because I was sure they were a little more fun to hang around with than the lameos we were being, and eventually Gabby B took me up on that and we went down.

I feel like I should mention there was a naked roommate in the room with us for a long time, wearing a towel and nothing else after her shower, but she dressed eventually. Another roommate did some laundry and then hung around. A third roommate listened loudly to her headphones, and didn't hear us even when we all simultaneously screamed her name. The toweled roommate IMed her to get her attention.

Also, at one point I called my mom and screamed "OHIOOOOO!!!!" into the phone and then hung up on her just for fun, because we won Ohio. She called me back to ask what just happened.

Anyway, we went down. There were two other white people there; one was a photographer and one appeared to be writing in a notebook. Gabby and I stood in the back for a little, and then I suggested that we get closer to the front and take a seat, so we did that. The TV was on very loud, on CNN. As Gabby and I walked around to sit down on the floor, the photographer took a number of pictures of us - we suspected it was because we were the only white people there. We felt a little self-conscious, but it was okay.

This was about 10:42PM when we went down, because Colbert wasn't funny enough. I got a call sometime in there, and I believe someone told me we won Virginia. Our station wasn't reporting it, but I remember shortly after hanging up, I heard people saying things about Virginia. Maybe someone else got news from another station and brought it in. Eventually, CNN called Virginia as well, and everyone was really excited, and we all screamed.

There was a black guy behind me, thin with short hair, who was working quite intently on what looked like some studying for a biology class, with powerpoint notes printed out on plain white paper stapled in the corner. He was dressed nicely. He wasn't paying full attention to the election because he said he wasn't doing great in his class, and when we all freaked out about Virginia, he looked up from his work and asked, "Wait, what happened?!" So I told him that we won Virginia, and he gave me a very full smile.

And then I realized it was almost 11PM, and that the polls of California and Oceania were closing in a about a minute. We were at 225EV or so, and we were about to get at least three more states in a matter of seconds. I turned back to the guy behind me and said, "That's it! That means it's it! We won!" And he asked me why, and I told him we were about to take California, and that would be it.

The time until polls close came onto the screen. It was less than a minute. It was counting down in seconds. I was in the Stephens Lounge, with dozens of excited black people around me, a photograph, a writer, and Gabby B sitting to my left. The TV was on CNN, with the volume about all the way up. I was wearing my "Friends don't let friends vote Republican shirt," my nice jeans from Aeropostale, my embarrassing red Hanes underwear, and I believe mismatching white socks, as I'd left my shoes upstairs in the lounge. I had my camera in my pocket, and my cell phone, but I think everything else was upstairs. I hadn't shaved my chin in a while, and I didn't have a coat with me at all.

Twenty seconds left. Would this be it? I suppose somehow I knew that this would be it. I took my camera out of my pocket and set it on video mode, and set it on my knee (about shoulder level as I was sitting), and zoomed in on the screen. Just as the CNN "Breaking News" visual was coming on screen, I started filming, and the visual broke to Wolf Blitzer standing by a huge screen with a picture of Barack Obama on the left, head only, blue background, and words to his right

BARACK OBAMA

ELECTED PRESIDENT

Everyone was looking. Everyone saw. Everyone understood immediately. We all screamed. People jumped and danced and cried. I turned my camera off and struggled for a moment putting it in my pocket, and hugged Gabby. The photographer went wild taking pictures, and people continued to celebrate, dance, cry, laugh, text, call, hug. We chanted O-BA-MA and crowded around the screen, and some girls danced with Gabby for a moment.

And that was it.

We had done the impossible.

Peace out.