Sam

As my facebook status, I recently put up that I was taking a semester off [later, to go to PSU] and that everyone should drop by to say goodbye. I felt like people came out of the woodwork to ask what was going on. Dani M., Sam, Melissa S., Crystal H., etc... - I couldn't believe that really anyone took any interest. But anyway, the comment from Sam caught special attention because she said she was taking the next semester off, too, and it was nice to know she wasn't alone. I wrote back and said, Yeah, we should talk sometime.

I went to Beth's house two nights ago. When I walked down the stairs, Beth was sitting on the couch with Tina and Steve and they were reading National Geographic from the 1950s or so. Her family keeps them. They made me read an advertisement that headlined, "Think about June in January, then think about Ontario!" They said it took them a really long time to figure out. I thought it was really interesting was that at the bottom of the page it said, "Mention the National Geographic - it identifies you."

So anyway, very soon after that, Kim L., Meghan D., and Sam all came to see us. They sat in the corner across from me. Sam was in a chair, Kim was on a bench, and Meghan was on the floor in front of Sam. Meghan and Sam both went to the same school that my mom graduated from [East Stroudsburg U], and both of them would be out of it by the end of their second semester. Meghan would have finished their entire art program by then and decided it was time to move on. Kim said she liked Pitt for the most part - the city was great and the school was good. I think I got the feeling she was yet to find her best friends there but I think we both knew that would come in time, and at least the rest was good. I know Kim is reading this but I definitely wrote everything up to here without thinking about that, so that's all honest, promise.

I wanted to catch up with Sam and talk to her more about why she was taking a semester off, so I told her we should meet the next day for lunch or coffee or something, and she said she'd call me around 11 or 12 to figure something out. It wasn't until later I realized that I planned to go into Philadelphia the next day to see Kim K at her parents' store in The Bourse. Those plans fell through, though - actually, for two days now, very sadly - so I could go see Sam.

While we were talking at Starbucks, she said that her mom said hello, and that she loved my graduation speech. I was kind of surprised that she would remember me, and even more surprised she'd remember my speech, but Sam said she remembered me from that night we went to the concert [in 11th grade].

I kind of have to split this story into two parts so that it will make sense to everyone reading. First I'll say what's going on with Sam now, then I'll get back to the concert.

I.

Sam's home was never anything near what you'd see in picture books. Her dad was no longer a part of the family from when she was little. He had terrible health problems for a long time and their relationship was terrible for almost as long as I've known Sam. Her brother was a good guy but he always got in lots of trouble and it got progressively more serious through time. Her mom seemed to be the one thing that Sam would always have. They weren't rich, but they had what they needed and they were pretty much closest/best friends. Sam started to have health problems sometime around 10th or 11th grade.

Sometime over the summer of 2007, the cops busted in to Sam's house. Apparently the papers they presented to whomever was home was not a search warrant, but a paper saying that a search warrant was served. Furthermore, it was for the wrong address, and the signature on it was fake, and they were searching the house on false pretenses. They went in anyway. They tore apart every room in the house and went through everyone's things and apparently found enough evidence to have Sam's brother face a minimum sentencing of 10-15 years.

I suppose her brother has been in the state's custody for a while. He also got very sick. He's pretty well built, but he's dropped down to 130 pounds, which is lighter than me. The police apparently beat him pretty badly when they found him. He has to get his ACL operated on, and apparently the state isn't taking responsibility for it, so he has to rely on Keystone Mercy insurance. He's also undoubtedly under tons of stress and his gallbladder isn't working properly.

The pipes in Sam's house are pretty old. One of them was stepped on, apparently, by someone searching the house, and it started to leak. Sam's mom got a plumber to come out and take a look at it and they did all they could to take care of the leaking. One day, she came home and the roof of her bedroom fell in. Her room was absolutely unusable. They didn't even have any reason to go in her room. And she doesn't have the money to pay for it right now. So she had to move into the computer room.

And she misses Sam. They're best friends. Every time Sam goes back up to college - and the first time she went up, too - she cries. They both do. They both cried the entire way up their the first time, Sam said. And I think the last time she went back up, her mom told her, "Sam, there's no way you're going back there. I have a breakdown every time. I just can't do it."

II.

Sam and I are both pretty big fans of Billy Joel. I'm not quite sure of how Sam came to love him, but for me, it was because my parents had his tapes and when I was little I listened to it once and I guess essentially became obsessed with it and he just became my favorite. He and Leroy are the only musicians I will remember from my childhood. Sometime in the beginning of Junior Year, Sam told me there was a free concert in a park in Rose Tree Media by a Billy Joel coverband and that she would go with me if I was interested. I remember being kind of shaky about it at first - a Billy Joel coverband...?? - but I wanted to go for some reason, so I said yes and asked her to come, of course.

I remember the whole plan being shaky for a while, but we worked it out so that her mom would drive us and just hang out at the concert, basically. So I drove to Sam's house - still in that old Q45 - and parked in her driveway because I still felt scared to park in the grass, even though she told me it was totally cool if I did. This was the first time I'd ever been to Sam's house. I didn't know what it looked like inside, but I thought it was nice. I never really knew she had a dog, but I'm pretty sure I remember being greeted by one.

We drove to the concert. I remember it was a really nice night and I think it was still light out when we got there. I can't remember if we took a blanket or not, but I'm willing to say we didn't. The concert was put on a stage at the bottom of a circular hill where everyone could gather. It was actually a really good band and a really nice venue. Sam and I hung out with her mom for a little bit, but mostly ran around on our own. I think we went to the snack line and got a snow cone or something, but I could be wrong about that. I remember we stood on the roots of a tree at one point, on a hill, and it was hard to keep our balance. I remember we talked to kids while we were standing there. I can't remember if we ran into anyone we knew or not that night, but if we knew anyone, it was probably because of Sam and not me.

When the concert was over, Sam and I couldn't find her mom in the crown, so we just walked roughly in the direction of where we thought we had parked and sat on a bench under a light and talked for a while. A lot of people walked past us and a lot of cars left before us. I think some kids talked to us while we sat there, too. We called her mom on her cell phone a couple times, and sooner or later her mom found us sitting on the bench, and I think it turned out we were totally in the wrong spot for where we had parked.

We left the parking lot - which I think was a field we all agreed we should just park on - and talked about the concert. We all really liked it. I forget exactly how, but we started singing songs that we all liked. I don't know if they were on the radio, or on a CD, or on an iPod. I can't remember how popular iPods were two years ago, or if Sam ever had one. Anyway.

At one point, "Annie's Song" came on. If you're not familiar, that's the really pretty folksy song with guitar, violin, and piano with the chorus that goes:

Even though we ain't got money,
I'm so in love with you, honey,
Everything will bring a chain of love...

And in the morning, when I rise,
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes,
And tell me everything is gonna be alright

And we all sang that song together, on the highway, driving home that night. I remember I didn't have a very high range then because I was just starting to sing but if I got close to belting it came out pretty well. We all sounded wonderful together.

III.

And it was everything that I just wrote that came into my head in one instant when Sam was talking to me. And I just thought of how beautiful that moment was and what a great night that was and, god, just thinking of her mom and how she must have been so content to be with her daughter and her friend, having a nice night out with them. And I thought of the last year and how far away Sam is and all the things that have happened, and how nice it would be just to have that moment again, and it made me tear up in Starbucks right there in front of Sam.

Peace out.

Just so you know

If you're ever at a job interview, and someone asks you what the integral from negative infinity to infinity of e^-x^2 is, the answer is the square root of pi.

Just so you know.

Peace out!

Snow

A month back or so I think we got some snow at Brown, but it was really just a dusting. Even the southerners weren't excited about it.

But this Friday we got some snow for real. I remember on Thursday night, Danny was talking to Tanya on the phone [he usually talks to her on the phone late at night right before they go to bed, I think - they used to videochat but for some reason I think they started to find that weird and switched to phone] and she made me promise that if it snowed the next day, I would play in the snow with Danny.

The next day it was gray and pretty crappy, but I don't remember it snowing until later at night. I think it was too late to really go outside and play in it by the time there was any significant collection on the ground. The next night, though, I was going to go outside and play with Danny in the snow. I saw Morgan somewhere earlier, and she said she wanted to play in the snow or make a snowman too, so I told her she should come with Danny and me. I think Danny went outside first bceause he told a guy we call Jun ["June"] that he would go out and play with him, and then Morgan and I came out and found them later.

I can't remember if it was there at this point or not, but someone built a pretty large snow penis on the Andrew's Terrace. I think it must have been on Saturday night, because earlier that day I went down to the Reading Room and looked out the window at some kids playing soccer in the roughly fifteen inches of powdery snow that we got, and there was no way they were playing around that snow phallus. Sadly, the shaft of it was removed sometime in the last 24 hours, it seems. Anyway.

When Morgan and I went out there, after she told her boyfriend Greg that she was going to be playing in the snow, we saw two kids outside on the hills just beyond the terrace and weren't really sure if that was Danny and Jun, but we would probably play with them anyway, whoever it was. It was Danny and Jun, though. They had a couple "toys" too - Two trays from the VW that I think Jun stole that night, and two shelves that Jun had removed from his bookshelf. A lot of people steal trays to sled on - they're actually really good sleds. I went down once and went really quickly and lost control and got snow up my gloves and my hands were freezing later. Jun tried to use the shelves as a snowboard and almost got hurt a couple times, but not too seriously. Then we basically got in a snowball fight. I actually had a pretty good shot and got some people in the head a couple of times here and there. I also used the trays as a shovel and just picked up tons of snow and shoved it in peoples' faces. Someone pegged Morgan in the face with a snowball and all the snow got caught between her eye and her glasses, and even minutes later you could see droplets of water left over from that hit on the inside of her lenses.

Danny was wearing socks on his hands because his gloves didn't come yet. At one point he took of his hand socks to make a snowball because he could make it pack a little better that way. His hands must have been freezing! I don't think he was really wearing snow-worthy shoes, but I wasn't either. Somehow they didn't get too wet, though. I think it was because the snow was too dry - it didn't pack enough to build a snowman that night, but some kids built one in the grass near Alumnae Hall next morning, I think.

At one point Danny wanted to try his luck sliding down the railing of the stairs in the middle of the hills in front of the Andrews terrace. Morgan and I looked on and I think Jun was running around near the hall with a trashbag to protect himself from something (?) and kept telling Danny it was a bad idea. Even Danny said it was a bad idea. But he did it anyway. It went well, he was going down, sliding, etc., all fine until the railing leveled out and slammed into his crotch. He yelped a little bit and collapsed on the snow and just laid there on his back for a couple minutes.

This morning my mom was asking me if it snowed here recently, and I said no, not much since Friday or so. I really didn't think there had been any. But then I went outside, and I found that it had snowed probably another five inches, was still raining a tiny little bit, and was seriously just the most miserable weather/walking conditions you could imagine. I feel once going down stairs a few nights ago and cut my hand, and Danny fell twice, once going to The Gate. There was water coming from a lot of places and of course snow melting, and it was all right on the verge of freezing, so when I stepped in it my toes were as cold as I've ever felt them. I hated walking to the Ratty today so much I didn't even go back for dinner. I'm a little hungry.

Sometimes snow falls off the rooftops here - they're slanted on Andrews. I was sitting in the kitchen doing some MATH0180 work today and then I heard a lot of noise behind me, wondered what it was and quickly turned around, and just saw a little mini-avalanche going by the window. It was a pretty good amount of snow, and I imagine if you were walking underneath it you would have been very hurt from the 40-or-so-foot descent it would go through before hitting you. Let's work out this math problem.

a = -9.8
v = -9.8(t) + v_0, but v_0 = 0, so v = -9.8t
d = -4.9(t^2) + 12.30, because d_0 = 12.30 [the height of the roof] ; the snow would take 1.6 seconds to fall from the roof to the ground.

int(v) = $ 9.8(t) = 4.9(t^2) = 4.9(1.6^2) = 12.544

So yeah, that snow would hit you at 12.544 meters per second, which is about 30MPH. Pretty harsh. No one walks beneath the kitchen window, but people walk on the Andrews terrace, and I saw some fall there, too. That would blow pretty hard.

Danny and I walked in the road today because the snow was so bad on the sidewalks it wasn't worth it. There were no cars for a long time. I guess people just wanted to stay in today. We walked home with Christie and her friend whose name I don't know and I feel really bad about that. Christie didn't have a hat on and her hair got wet (with freezing water, I'm sure) and I felt really bad for her, but she had boots on so I guess we're even.

The people who clean up the snow here are pretty good. I remember the first night it snowed the paths were cleared as it was snowing multiple times, and they even cleared a path to the two main Andrews doors by the next morning. But I think they took Sunday off and that kind of sucked. Oh well, that's understandable.

Bed time.

Peace out!