I wonder how many foreign submarines there are trolling along America's coasts. I'd like to see a map of it, I think it'd be pretty interesting.
Peace out.
“shaking up up 630”; a cat laying in your lap at the computer, or laying on the computer so that you have to give her attention instead; the plane rides to and from Providence (one time I saw a cloud that was colored through by a rainbow); Genuardi’s doughnuts; the way Mr. Ricci’s kids climbed on him like he was a jungle gym; the time Mr. Ricci yelled at Alex for looking at the wrong side of the board on the first day of class; Alex’s “game show” hair circa 3rd grade; Dan Perrino is going to survive; people still post on Christine L’s MySpace to say that they’re thinking of her and they miss her; I wish more than almost anything in the world that somehow, anyway at all, you didn’t have to be sad about Dave anymore; giving ridiculous answers when Dana asks hypothetical questions; I learned how to play The Luckiest by Ben Folds for Dana M and sang it to her on my brother’s keyboard once in our basement and she loved it, I don’t think I’ve learned a song for a girl since then but I have written many
My brother and sister and I used to listen to To My Brother Whom I Slept With in Bed by Bill Cosby on cassette in a little circle around the player and laugh so hard we couldn’t hear what he was saying anymore, my dad brought it home and had it listen to us once and we’ve loved it ever since, I don’t think he expected that much of a response; I will never figure out what makes my brother and Connie happy together, I asked my dad if he knew what it was and he said, “Jeff, I don’t understand what makes any two people happy together” ; when we lived on Federal Farm Drive I used to go out of my bed at night to go lay with Jessica in her bed and talk, my bedtime was earlier than hers but I never remember her having the light on, we talked about it in front of Mom and Dad once and they said to stop; I used to daydream about taking my brother’s room and turning it into a water tank and having a Waverunner in it, I think it’s because there was blue carpet; there was a nice old guy named Mr. Fritz who lived beside Federal Farm Drive, his wife wasn’t as nice, but they had tons of cats and he always let us visit them, it’s been a long time since I’ve thought about him, and I’m sad to think that he is probably not okay
I don’t know if I should take my favorite blanket with me on Semester at Sea, I’d like it to go all around the world but I’m not sure it’s strong enough; the World War II memorial is amazingly pretty, the last time I was there two girls from Asia were sitting a bit down from me and we made eye contact and smiled but never talked, maybe it was the language barrier; I have played hockey in front of the White House; I went to Barnes and Noble my last days in DC to get a notepad to write down ideas and a girl about my age was looking in the journals section too and she was pretty in an offbeat way, I thought about saying hi and asking what her journaling was for but instead I rationalized the familiar
Google’s making an operating system; Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, This American Life, News & Notes, The World, On Point, On The Media, Radio Lab, All Things Considered, Marketplace, Fresh Air, Morning Edition, the background music of Shadow Traffic, “I’m Robert Segal” “And I’m Michelle Block” *picture of a seagull and a block*, what the hell would I be without NPR; the way Leiha breathed out between thoughts; once I threw up because I swam too hard the first day back in the pool, and once because I tried really hard on all the physical fitness tests, I’ve since learned not to make that mistake; the SomethingAwful forums; I used to be one of the cool guys on GameFAQs when I was like 13, I really appreciate what all those people added to my life, but I could never ever go back; Joel McHale and that tiny little dog from E!’s The Soup; you know what, popping pimples and picking my nose can feel good sometimes, okay, there, I said it; when my dad has something in his ear he puts his finger in it and shakes it so hard the whole room shakes, my sister picked up on that somehow, but no one else; my mom gave me her jawline and I’m thankful for that; my dad sneezes really loud, which was annoying when I was young and trying to sleep, when he thinks something is really funny his laugh is very loud and high pitched, I never thought much of it but my sister told me it always made her happy to hear it when she was falling asleep because she knew it meant Dad was happy
When people update their blogs; when there used to be appropriate words to use instead of blog; how well Jenny J and I were able to talk about our past, I never knew that both of us made an almost-conscious decision, I think it would have been fine even if it had only been one of us; the time Corky and I tried to explain the butterfly effect to her in her comment s section; god am I going to miss having Corky at PSU, I already missed having him down the hall so I could bother him every day, I don’t think I’ve ever known a guy my age that I got along so well with, the post it note to-do lists on his desk that said, “DON’T kill yourself,” “To my biggest fan”
Peace out.
The time at Kevin D’s pool party when I pushed the lifeguard into the pool, he was the best swimmer in the high school, he might have been in the Olympics, I think kids played Spin the Bottle in the woods that day but this was middle school and I was definitely not okay with that game with those kids; I still call both of them kitten; we were talking about the alarm in our house and my dad said “it’s only for people. if someone breaks in and takes all the TVs, you know, that means nothing to me” ; I don’t know if I’ve ever cared so intensely about anything as I did the nights I wrote you that letter, and I wonder sometimes if I ever will again or if I ever could again, if it’s even possible for me to care in that way anymore, or for someone else, or maybe I’ve just ruined it, or maybe I’m too old; watching last night’s episode of The Daily Show at work, Brett came over to join me one day and we watched it together, we never did that again but I wish we had; I’m surprised that Matt liked all those stories as much as he did, I hope I can figure out a way to order The Moth, I don’t want to let him down; getting a text from Glenn - can you play tonight at 8? Love to! What time and color jersey? 8, white should do – and playing two games, planning on leaving at 9 and getting caught in conversation until eleven; kneeling down to be eye-to-eye with you, hugged you, I wanted to kiss you so badly right then and I can’t place exactly why but I was more alive for it
Sneaking to Kristin’s back porch on graduation night at 11pm, I think it was the first time I hugged her, her parents thought it was weird but it was definitely worth it; the first time we had circle time I had thought about saying “by the end of this year, everyone here will love everyone else here,” I didn’t say it because I thought it was too much, but it was almost true, I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of anyone or anything in my life; her mom went upstairs, or outside, I forget which – “is your mom outside?” “no, she’s upstairs” [leaning over] “…may I help you?” “can I kiss you?” “Oh. …sure,” I’m sorry that I handled everything so poorly beginning with that exchange right there; the science of choice: keep asking questions, keep learning, keep being the best self I have ever been, or go to sleep because I have drumline tomorrow, fuck the law of declining marginal benefits, damnit; a broken neck would be an improvement to the condition I would find myself in if I ever did break your heart
Sneaking into the neighbor’s pool around 11th grade with Beth, I should have kissed her then; Bill Maher on the weekend, I can’t remember what nights it was on anymore, just we watched it together and she would always hold me, not the other way around; The Half-Hour News Hour, who the hell thought that was a good idea, well us, because it was another excuse, and it was on a Sunday; Perfect Timing by Orba Squara; the times when your parents didn’t think we were going out, your dad called me your fifth son (did that mean you were his fourth son?), god, he used to like me, what the hell went wrong; walking barefoot, going to all the stores barefoot, one time I went for a walk all the way around Fox Hill Farms with Kristin with no shoes on, I thought I could take it but the stones were pretty painful actually; the time my Aunt Jenn used the word sauce as the answer to every topic in Scattergories, and the time I used ham in every answer this year at the beach; running into the water in May when it’s freezing cold; talking until 3:00 in the morning except that the clock is 20 minutes fast and telling the kid at the gas station that I’m the guy from Fallout Boy; the night we had the bonfire, just the two of us, and Jack came to see us; I can’t believe that you were the one that took my hand, god, so wonderful
Everything in the world about Mr. Kerrigan – the bottles of Coke, the terrible puns and jokes, homework is homefun, the way he handled us all, the Brown kid, and we learned so damn much; XKCD; on the dock with Meg: “do you want to jump in? in our underwear. Right now.” You said we could do it later and we never got to it, and no, I’m not upset at all, but next time let’s jump in; For Good from the Wicked soundtrack; wordplay; I saw the movie Wordplay in theaters twice, both times in Pittsburgh, Jon Stewart was in it; I didn’t think I would like Libby S at first but it turns out she’s pretty awesome, and I was thankful for the surprise; Jenna’s kissy faces, the time she pretended to be a dog with her head out the window in the passenger seat of my car, and I was afraid she’d get me a ticket; the days when I wasn’t afraid of speeding tickets; my mom didn’t want me to leave for the summer because she wanted to watch The Daily Show with me at night, but said it wouldn’t be right to keep me here; my cats always climb in boxes and that’s adorable; my sister used to sit outside my dad’s door at night and listen for him breathing to make sure she was alive because she was constantly terrified that anything might go wrong with him; Mr. Longo knew even before I did, I guess he figured out from the handwriting
Peace out.
