Aunt Nancy

When I was really young - I think before the age of 8 or so - my undisputed favorite relative in the world was Aunt Nancy. I found out later that her really name was actually Anne, but I never really knew her as anything other than Aunt Nancy. She was my mom's sister, a couple years older I think, who lived in Scranton. She had two kids, Leroy and Gabrielle, he in a band and she a model. I could never really understand exactly what was going on with their living situation - they lived with Aunt Nancy and not whichever uncle (I think his name is also Leroy?) was their father in a house in a fair part of Scranton, but I think they rented out the top floor of the house. I don't think they were ever too pleased with the renters, whoever they were. They had a lot of cats, including one named Barney that ONLY liked Gabrielle and hissed fiercely at anyone else, and another one that hung itself by its collar on a tree one day and Leroy found it. One of the rooms had a bunch of instruments in it for Leroy and his band; they also had a Wild West pinball machine of some sort in their basement. I remember thinking they had some stairs in their house, but thinking back, I can't remember where they went. I remember a living room connected to the band room, the kitchen, and a bedroom, which I think was Gabrielle's, all on the first floor. Later, Leroy put a pull-up bar in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. That was when he owned the house, I think.

I don't remember a whole ton about Aunt Nancy herself, but I remember liking her a whole lot, all the time. I can't remember a time when I didn't like her. She always laughed at my jokes - even though I was just a stupid little kid - and I remember she actually made me feel like I was funny. I remember one time she was on the phone with my mom, and she asked to talk to me so I could tell her a joke, and I said, "Did you hear the one about the three deer?" She said, "No." And I said, "Deer, deer, deer!" And she laughed a lot. I mean, I thought that was a funny joke and that's why I told her, but not so many other people seemed to find it funny.

I remember I showed off to her once - in a family party of some sort at our old house at 4 Federal Farm Drive - that I could hop on one leg. I came up to her in our dining room and she asked me to show her something new, so I hopped on one leg and hopped right out of the room.

I think it was at that same party that I told her my real name was Vega. Vega was a video character in the Street Fighter II game on Sega Genesis that wore a mask and long metallic claws who I thought was incredibly awesome. She went along with it.

I remember when we were a little older and we were staying in Avalon, she got a trailer and a spot in a nearby park for the summer. We thought that was pretty much the coolest thing ever. We would go and swim in the fresh water (?) lake in the park, with a plastic dock of some sort and sandy beaches, while her and my mom talked. I can't remember much about the trailer itself. I remember one time, though, we went to a vending machine and I got a tiny piece of gold jewelry. It wasn't real gold, of course. Plastic. I don't know much else about it, but I think it had a chain of some sort attached to it. I wonder where it went.

I can't remember the last time I saw Aunt Nancy. I'm pretty sure it was at her trailer near the beach.

Sometime before the end of 2nd grade - and I really can't tell you much more about it than that - Aunt Nancy got sick. Very sick. She was up in Scranton and we were back at home - I can remember I was in the 4 Federal Farm Drive house, so that's how I know it was 2nd grade or earlier. We didn't really know what was wrong, definitely not as kids who were in like 8th grade or lower, but I don't think any of the adults really knew what was wrong either. I remember it was a pretty confusing time for me. I can't even remember exactly how long it went on. I remember thinking it was a long time. Though I was little then, so anything seemed long.

Sometime the summer before she got sick, my mom and Aunt Nancy got in a fight. I never learned what it was about, but I remember picking up that it was pretty serious. I'm not sure my mom and Nancy ever really made up before she got sick, but I do know that my mom went to see her once at her trailer after the fight and said that Nancy was smiling and dancing and happy to see her, so I'm pretty sure they were okay with each other.

Anyway, like I said, Nancy was sick. We didn't know what was wrong and I don't think anyone else did. At some point during this whole ordeal, my mom went up to see Nancy in the hospital. She told me later - I think she even told me when I was young - that when she was there, Aunt Nancy said - sickly, softly - "Oh... it must be pretty serious if they brought you here...?"

My mom came home eventually. I can't remember when. I can't remember what I knew when she came home versus what I knew when she left. I know that I heard stories of Aunt Nancy being on some sort of breathing apparatus, and something about her being very sedated, and something about pain but I'm not really sure what, and I think something about appendicitis but I'm not really sure, and I think something about smoking but I'm not really sure about that either.

I got a phone call from my dad sometime that school year. Or maybe it wasn't a phone call, and he told me in real life. I know that somehow I knew before Jessica, so maybe she had gone to school, I can't really remember. In any case, my dad told me that Aunt Nancy died. I didn't really have any reaction. I'm pretty sure my response was actually, "Oh, okay." Looking back, I feel horrible and I wonder what the hell was wrong with me. I was stupid and I'm sorry.

Later that day, I was in the kitchen with Jessica. We used to hang out sometimes when we were both home from school, Dad was at work, and Mom was out somewhere getting Ryan or something. I remember we were talking about something, then stopped. To end the silence, I said, word for word, flatly, passingly, "Oh, by the way, Aunt Nancy died." Again, I was stupid and I'm sorry. I can't remember how Jessica responded when I told her. I wouldn't have understood even if I saw it, I guess. I don't think I was looking. She tells me now that she reacted extremely strongly, but I can't remember that.

She had a funeral and a viewing in Scranton sometime after that. I remember thinking that I would have had to have gone all the way up to Scranton, all the way back, missed school, and saw some family that I didn't think was very much fun, so I didn't want to go and my dad said that was fine. I was in like 1st or 2nd grade. Again, I was stupid, and I'm sorry, and I understand if you hate me for not going. I wish I had gone.

Peace out.