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I saw her earlier and that her eyes were red, and I thought maybe there was something wrong, but I didn't say anything because I thought it was more likely that it was from being out in the cold for so long. A few moments later when I saw her, she was, I think, crying openly and being hugged very closely by one of her friends. I didn't know what happened, but I pretty much knew, and I was sad for her.

I walked away and minutes later was somewhere near her again, organizing things for later, and I saw her with red eyes again, and being hugged by friends. I don't think I actually had even been told what was wrong at that point. I was wearing my big, fuzzy, itchy jacket from some name brand store (I forget which one. AE?) that people seem to hate to hug me in. So I took it off and put it on the chair next to me, and took off my pink mittens, and said her name and hugged her for a while. I told her that I took off my stupid fuzzy jacket just to hug her to try to make her laugh, but I think that actually made her cry harder, and I was worried I screwed something up. I asked her where she would be that night, because I wanted to be there for her and for her to be with friends. Partially that was because I thought it was what she'd want, and partially it was because I had no idea what else might help.

And though it was nothing in comparison, my heart broke a little bit for her under the light of what happened, the beauty and the tragedy, the gravity of the hour.

[and if this kills you, tell me to get rid of it, and i'm sorry]

Peace out.