Burj Dubai

Sometimes when I'm in high places, I get really bad cases of The Call of the Void. I think it originally comes from a French term, which I don't have the motivation to Google at the moment. But basically, it means that when you're standing next to some type of high ledge, you get an urge to jump over the edge or try to fly or try to jump to the nearest platform otherwise and see how it goes.

I have a couple of problems with things like that. When I'm rooftopping, a lot of times I'll be standing next to the edge, and the next thing I know I'm experiencing a wild fantasy of myself jumping over the edge and then free-falling almost all the way down. I can kind of feel it in the pit of my stomach, but wake myself out of it before something bad happens. It's kind of similar to the feeling I get when I'm driving and I imagine myself being rammed by an 18-wheeler from behind every time I change lanes, or for some reason swerving into the car in the oncoming direction. Of course I never want any of those things to happen, but they play out in my mind all the time.

Maybe it's because September 11th was coming up again and people were talking about the anniversary before it came, but I suppose that jumping had been on my mind a little bit. And sometime over the weekend - perhaps Saturday night - I remember having a quite vivid dream of myself at the top of the Burj Dubai, somehow outside of it, and then looking over the edge and just jumping. It's about 2,700 feet down from there, and my dream held me there to experience the fall. I remember thinking about what the impact would be like, what must be going through someone's head as they're falling. Jesus, did I seriously make that decision? There really isn't any going back now. I wonder if this will hurt. I wonder how much it'll hurt if it does. How long could it possibly hurt? I'd pretty much die instantly, right? Dream me thought all of those.

Peace out.