Beth O'K for the First Time

I know that I met Beth sometime when I was in third grade, but I don't have a great recollection of exactly when. I remember that I didn't particularly like her a whole lot, but I don't really remember exactly why. We were in Mrs. Clarke's class together, but pretty much only for homeroom. We didn't really do a lot in her homeroom - we did some dumb activities like coloring, and making planets out of play-dough, and maybe learned a little bit about history once, and learned was unsafe touches were and crap like that -but there wasn't much real learning.

[I remember when we made planets out of play-dough, Mrs. Clarke would separate the colors when we were done and I was absolutely AMAZED that she was able to separate the green from the blue in the Earth that someone had made. I asked her how she did it, and she just said, "Oh, I just use a knife," and showed me a little plastic butterknife from the cafeteria or staff room.]

One day, I can't remember when, we were learning about Indians and the fact that they called corn "Maize." My guess is that it was sometime in the fall because that's when elementary schools usually teach about Indians. I was working in a group with Dennis O'N - I remember being amazed at his so-blonde-it-was-white hair - and Beth O and maybe some other people and we were coloring ears of corn and a stalk that we would staple/glue/tape the ears to. I remember Dennis made some comment about me thinking I was perfect and "running around naked with Adam and Eve," or something to that effect (he may have said "in the Garden of Eden." I have no idea where he got the idea to say these things).

We kept on working and I guess we were talking. I think Beth told someone to do something, or complained about someone not doing anything, and in all my witty glory I said, "Oh yeah, because you've been such a big help. ... NOT! ... I mean, SNOT!" I remember thinking that that actually was an out-of-this-universe ice burn, and I guess she thought so too because she started crying and told Mrs. Clarke I was being mean to her. I had to apologize. That is the first thing that I remember saying to Beth in my entire life.

Beth and I would remain enemies until sometime in ninth grade, when we jumped on the trampooline near Olivia's driveway with Liz Fin and Bobby D and I said something very stupid, at which point she probably hated me more, but somehow I fixed that for a while.

That is, the second thing I remember saying to her in my entire life was not much better than the first.

Peace out.