I'm Bad at Parties

Last night there was a Springfield social (Springfield is the organization I'm a part of that raises money for Penn State's THON charity) at the apartment of Gabby, our social chairwoman. I thought it would be a good way to meet some of the new people joining Springfield and see if there were any particularly cool newbies, but I knew there would be dancing and drinking and loud music and stuff, so I figured I'd try to go early before any of that started.

It was supposed to start at 11pm, and I showed up at about 10:40pm, which I figured was safely before any real partying would begin. However, as soon as I got to the third floor of the building (where her apartment was), I could hear the party coming from all the way down the hall and around the corner. I thought it was another party at first, but no, it was the party I was headed for. There was loud music, people were drinking, there was alcohol set up outside for people to take, and there was a game of beer pong happening. Some people started dancing a little bit later.

I said hello to maybe two or three people, including one of the RAs in Simmons, who had to leave early because she didn't want to be seen drinking/partying in front of her residents. Meg saw that I was just sitting/standing around and not really digging it, and made a sad a face at me. As Dana put it a long time ago, "Meg has this disease where she has to make sure everyone around her is happy." It's not a bad disease to have, but it sucks when you're in a situation like "At a party with Jeff," where it turns out I can't be happy. I left after maybe 15 minutes. Most of those 15 minutes, I had this image in my head.

I was sort of frustrated with myself when I left. I just sort of realized that back in high school, I could totally work the social scene. Whatever kind of party kids in high school were having (at least ones I was invited to), I could find a way to make myself happy and I think even help other people have a good time, too. I honestly don't think that's happened once at a party at college. I just thought through all the parties I can remember, and I still believe that it's accurate. I've never enjoyed a party at college, ever.

That sort of sucks.

I wish I liked the things that people did here. I want to like it and I want to enjoy being around people while it's happening. But I just don't. I just want to leave and play piano or draw or drive or listen to NPR.

Peace out.